Tips for divorcing a narcissist

Narcissism is a personality disorder which can be characterised as having an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration and a lack of empathy or inability to recognise the needs and feelings of others. A narcissist’s personality traits can make divorcing one more challenging than divorcing a typical person.

If you are about to embark on divorcing a narcissist, you need to be prepared and should consider the following tips:

Do not expect a narcissist to be cooperative. A narcissist may refuse to provide financial disclosure, refuse to negotiate and may disobey Court Orders. Do not be surprised, learn to expect it but do not think that it is acceptable and do not lose your cool.

Be prepared to take matters to Court. A narcissist may refuse to provide financial disclosure or negotiate. If this happens, you will have little option but to make an application to the Court. You may need to make applications for injunctions. This can be emotionally draining and expensive but you should not be deterred as otherwise you let the narcissist win.

Avoid becoming embroiled in trivial ‘tit for tat’ arguments. A narcissist wants to win and will love to argue with you. If you engage in the arguments you will fuel the narcissist to make more arguments. As difficult as it may be, you need to try to rise above their behaviour. Divorcing a narcissist is unlikely to be a quick process and you need to reserve your energy for the more significant arguments.

Understand that this is not your fault. Whilst the narcissist will refuse to accept that they are at fault and may try and turn people against you, understand that this does not mean you have done anything wrong. 

Engage a solicitor who is skilled in dealing with divorces and narcissists. It may be the case that an aggressive approach is not the most effective approach when dealing with a narcissist. In some cases, it may be possible to negotiate from the narcissist’s perspective so that they mistakenly believe that they have ‘won’. It’s important that you instruct a skilled lawyer to assist you.

If you require assistance and advice on separating from or divorcing a narcissist then do contact our friendly and approachable Family Law Specialists who are here to help.